Two farmers, Joe and Bob

Two farmers, Joe and Bob, lived as neighbors, but didn't like each other much. In 1989, there was a period of -30 degree centigrade cold and Bob and Joe had nothing to do because of it. So they bet a bottle of vodka who can sit out on the window ledge the longest with a bare ass.
After two hours Bob's wife came home and asked Bob, "What are you doing?"
Bob explained and she said, "Come on... you will only freeze your ass off."
Bob refused as he wanted to win the bet.
Then his wife got an idea. "Let's change places when Joe is looking the other way."
Bob's wife put on the same kind of pullover and cap and traded places with Bob.
Half an hour later Joe's wife came home and asked him, "What are you doing?"
Joe told her and said, "I am determined to win the bottle!"
"You are crazy. Come on in."
"Certainly not, I am already on the winning side. Bob lost his balls half an hour ago!"

http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/drinkingjokes 

Yesterday, scientists in the ...

Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn`t drive.


http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/drinking-jokes

An Irish man walks into...

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what`ll you have?"The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they`re gone. He then orders three more.The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don`t have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I`ll bring you a fresh cold one."The man says, "You don`t understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we`d still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we`re drinking together.The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition.Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I`d just like to say that I`m sorry that one of your brothers died."The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking."

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/drinking-jokes

A man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot.The bartender is curious and askes him "every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?"The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home."

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/drinking-jokes

One day an Englishman...

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT!!!!"